You're Wrong About
You're Wrong About
Your Abortion Stories
“Abortion is healthcare and abortion is a human right. Abortion is racial justice. It’s economic justice. It’s at the intersection of every movement towards liberation. My abortion was a gift.”
We asked you to share your abortion stories with us. Here they are.
Contribute to the National Network of Abortion Funds here:
https://abortionfunds.org/donate/
What to do if you need an abortion:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/abortion
If you need help paying for an abortion:
https://abortionfunds.org/need-abortion/
Shout Your Abortion is normalizing abortion and elevating safe paths to access, regardless of legality. SYA makes resources, campaigns, and media intended to arm existing activists, create new ones, and foster collective participation in abortion access all over the country.
https://shoutyourabortion.com/
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Links:
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Sarah: Welcome to You’re Wrong About I'm Sarah Marshall, and today we have a very special episode about abortion. This is a very different format from usual, you're not going to hear very much from me. Instead, you're going to hear from each other. We asked listeners to submit their abortion stories, because it seems like a better time than ever to talk about abortion.
One of the themes in so many of the stories that you sent in was that the abortion wasn't traumatic, the stigma around the abortion was traumatic. And here what You're Wrong About, we love abortion, and we accept that trauma is part of life but we want to work on it. We want to make that part better and figure out ways to lift some of it off our little human hearts and big, scary things are happening in the US, which is where we live.
Abortion access has been under continuous assault for basically as long as it's been a legal right. And now that law protects only about half the people in the country. There's so much we can't do, but we can offer you a space to share your stories with each other. And so of the about six hours’ worth of stories that you sent in, we picked about 45 minutes of them. Not because they were unique in many cases, but because these stories, for everyone that you hear, there’s probably about 10 more like it lined up behind them. And we wanted to give you the chance to see each other, to see the truth of your experience, because that seems like one of the ways that we can be stronger and fight harder.
These are stories of hope and joy and humanity, and they also get into some subjects that will be harder for some of you to hear. And these things aren't at all mutually exclusive, but we're going to hear in these stories about miscarriage, about abusive relationships, about self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Just know that that's coming up in addition to everything else. And that's it from me. Let's hear some stories. Thank you so much for listening.
Caller: I had an abortion when I was 24. There wasn't anything spectacular or tragic about it. I just didn't want to have a baby. I had just started a new job, moved to a new city, bought a house, and all I saw when I saw that positive pregnancy test was my dreams dying. You know, the moment that I realized I could have an abortion, that I didn't have to have a baby, I felt a huge sense of relief. And then all I wanted was to have the abortion, have it over with and never have to think about it again, which was a little naive on my part. You know, it's part of my medical history, so, you know, nurses ask me, how many pregnancies have you had? And I have to include that one. Sometimes they say, ‘I'm sorry”, because they don't know. But I'm not sorry. It allowed me a beautiful career. It allowed me to have kids when I was ready and happy about it.
I live in a very conservative part of the United States, so I did feel very isolated about it for a long time. I didn't tell any of my friends. It felt like this huge, dirty secret. Only recently have I started telling people about it, but nobody's been rude or refused to be my friend since, so that's good. I do think it's important that we talk about non-tragedy stories. I don't think you should have to have a tragedy or a dire circumstance in order to have an abortion. You should just be able to have an abortion if you don't want to have a baby.
Caller: So when I was 23 I found out I was pregnant, and I knew immediately that I was getting an abortion. A pregnancy and a baby were not things I wanted. And as straightforward as that decision felt to me, it became a very weird time in my life. Not because the abortion itself was difficult because it was actually pretty easy. Access wasn't an issue where I was living, and it was early enough that I could get a medical abortion, so I just took a pill, and I was horribly sick the rest of that day. But after that, it was just like having a really heavy period and I didn't have any complications or anything. The thing that made it weird was that when I told people, people who I knew to be staunchly pro-choice, they immediately just lost touch with reality.
The father was a boyfriend I had broken up with before I knew I was pregnant. And when I told him very clearly, I wanted an abortion could he help pay for it, he started using this very quiet voice I'd never heard from him before. Like I was a frightened puppy or something. He told me I didn't need to worry, it was okay, that my out-of-control hormones had made me break up with him. But would I marry him, and we could be a family, and it would all be okay. Ugh. And he was so shocked that after breaking up with him, I wouldn't change my mind and agree to marry him instead.
Then when I told my best friend, he used the same frightened puppy voice. He told me he wanted to have the baby with me, that he could be the father, that he and I could be together forever. And I had to remind him like, dude, you're gay. You are a gay man. What are you even talking about right now? And when I said, “No”, he was so shocked and hurt and mean to me because I turned this ridiculous offer down. And I was just like, why do so many men suddenly want to marry me? This fetus had the power to override men's political convictions, their relationship desires, even their sexual orientations, apparently, and they just could not hear that an abortion was something I wanted.
Looking back, I think they just really wanted to slot me into some classic tragedy where they were in the center as the hero rescuing a woman in trouble, as they say. I just needed money, which was way less glamorous for them. And when I said no, they both felt like my abortion was now something I was doing against them. After those first two reactions, I stopped telling people because for one, I simply could not handle any more marriage proposals. But two, I just really felt that it was okay for my abortion to be about me, and I didn't want to expand the circle of people who wanted it to be about them. I kind of love that I can’t talk about my abortion without laughing. I just think abortions can be so many things other than just tragic. We can definitely cry over them when that's warranted, but it's also okay to laugh about them. Or we can not have a feeling about them at all, and they can just be a boring thing about life that no one else takes so personally. My abortion doesn't need to be about you.
Caller: Hi, Sarah Marshall. Really excited to be sharing my story with y'all. A couple years ago, I, uh, realized I was pregnant, exactly the way it happens in a movie. I was standing in my friend's bathroom, and I looked over on top of the toilet and there were just a bunch of tampons sitting there, and I was, holy shit. It's been so long time since I've had to use a tampon. And I knew right then and there like, call it women's intuition, call it paranoia, whatever, I knew I was pregnant.
At the time I was 21 and I was having a bit of a hot girl summer. And I did not have a primary form of birth control, but I was using Plan B. I know whoever's listening just gasped, “That's a terrible plan.” I know that now. I know it was a bad plan. But basically, I did not read the fine print on the Plan B. I'm a fat woman, I'm very tall. I had no idea that there was a weight cutoff to using Plan B. Basically, I was popping Plan B like candy, and it literally just had the effect of if it were candy. To no one's surprise, I was super fucking pregnant.
I booked a Planned Parenthood appointment as soon as humanly possible. They gave me the option to do the pill or the surgical abortion. I no longer trusted pills at that time. I was like, this is going to get messed up. It's not going to terminate the pregnancy the way I want to. I elected to have the surgical option. It was super easy. Super quick. I know it's painful for some people, but I know it's emotionally painful for a lot of people, but that's a different story. I know it's physically painful for some people, but for me it was a super, super easy operation.
There was never, ever, ever a doubt in my mind about what I was going to do. There was one option for me, and I feel very fortunate to not have had external factors. You know, manipulating my decision or to have emotional turmoil in my own decision-making process at all. It was simple for me. and I feel very grateful for that. Yeah, I got the abortion, haven't looked back even a single day since. Most people who are close to me know about it. I just want to express how important it is for me that other fat women, fat people who can get pregnant, understand that Plan B is not made for them, and that they get a better form of birth control. Something that helps them get pregnant the way they want to on their own terms if they ever decide to and not have to go through this whole process that I did. Thanks again. Bye.
Caller: Oh boy, was I wrong about abortion? It was not that I was opposed to abortion, but it just like wigged me out. I didn't get it and it didn't make sense to me that I would ever want to choose abortion, until I wanted to choose abortion. I was a mother of three in my late thirties, married to my high school sweetheart, three beautiful kiddos, and I just knew I didn't want to do it again. I didn't want to change diapers again. I didn't want to nurse babies again. I didn't want to be up all night again.
I loved my family just the way it was, and I loved myself and who I was becoming in my late thirties after being a stay-at-home mom and spending much of my time and energy invested in mothering. I chose abortion at age 38, and it changed my life. Now I talk about abortion every single day. I help other people process their abortions. I host a podcast about Abortion. I wrote a book about abortion. It's become a gift in my life to be able to understand something that I never anticipated being a part of my experience. And we don't talk about it. We don't talk about the feelings, we don't talk about the experience, we don't talk about how complicated it is to make the decision. I think I'll spend the rest of my life talking about abortion, and I'm really grateful that that is now my story.
Caller: I found out that I was pregnant when I was 29 years old, and I already had two children who were both under two years old. The relationship I was in at the time was really rocky, and I knew straight away that I did not want a third child. There was never a question in my mind. I made an appointment to a clinic, which was really local to me, had the appointment, they gave me my options. I even had a choice of how I had the abortion, and I chose to go for the surgery. Because I had previous experience of the pills that they use, and that had been very painful for me. I went in feeling like I'm going to have the surgery, that's what I want. And I was prepared to potentially have to sort of put up a fight for that, but I didn't have to.
I very much felt like they trusted me to know my own body and know what I wanted. And my partner at the time drove me to the hospital and it was clearly like everyone there was there for an abortion because it was mostly younger girls with their parents. So I was definitely one of the oldest people who had the surgery. Everything was fine and I just remember driving home, just feeling so light and so just free, and so fucking grateful that I could go through that procedure for free, not paying a penny, and that I'd come out of it feeling so much better than I did. Just the thought of having a third child at that point for me was horrendous. I had really bad postnatal depression. I had a lot of trauma that I hadn't had therapy.
My relationship was shit, and actually a couple of weeks after I had the abortion, my partner at the time just walked out on me and our two young children. So actually the abortion was a hundred percent the best decision for me. After I'd had an abortion, I started getting into pro-choice activism, especially when 40 Days for Life came to the UK, which was really fucking disturbing. I've told my children about it. I feel incredibly grateful that I was able to have that procedure, and it was not a big deal. It was just a medical procedure and I felt fucking great afterwards. And I know plenty of people who have been pregnant and had abortions that don't feel great afterwards, but whoever you are, if you are able to get pregnant, you have the choice whether you want to continue that pregnancy or not. And I am just devastated for all the pregnant people or the people that could potentially get pregnant in America and other countries around the world that don't have that option. And yeah, as much as I hate England, I think it's a shithole, the one good thing is we have a national health service and you get free abortion and yeah, I just hope that everyone around the world can have that one day.
Caller: So this is me sharing my abortion story. I had my abortion two weeks ago. I found out I was pregnant five weeks and six days pregnant. I found out unexpectedly. My birth control had failed so this was really news to me. So I had to make a decision, and I decided that an abortion was kind of the best way for me to go. I had my abortion in Lagos, Nigeria. I cannot share where I had it, because abortion is illegal in Nigeria, and the doctors that helped me did a great risk to their license and certificate. I had a surgical abortion because I didn't want to have to go through the process of using the pill and the continuous bleeding. It was the best decision for me and my husband.
I'm still a student. My husband is just getting his feet in his industry, so we're not financially or emotionally ready to take on that responsibility. I didn't expect that I was going to feel some guilt after the abortion, but I did. I would cry unexpectedly, but I'm coming to terms with it and I wouldn't change what I did. I made the right decision. I'm so grateful for that organization that helped me have my abortion, that helped me have a chance to determine what I wanted for my reproductive health. I'm just so grateful and I hope everybody has the opportunity to make that decision by themselves.
Caller: I was 20 years old. I'm white and I'm from a middle-class background, and the person who had gotten me pregnant was - and still is today, -my partner. But I was 20 years old and not ready to have a baby. So I asked my uncle, who agreed to pay the $300 so I could afford to have an abortion in Texas. I drove the 300 miles from where I was living in Mississippi to get my abortion.
And at the time I was an ardent Richard Dawkins atheist, and I think this was necessary so that I could get through all of the Christian bullshit trying to dissuade me from having my abortion or carry the pregnancy to terms so I could give it up for adoption and basically do whatever they could to dissuade me. But at the time, fairly ardent in my views that God didn't exist and there was no afterlife and there was no soul. And I told such to the nurses until finally they just gave up trying to give me any of the Christian propaganda and they gave me my procedure.
I now realize today that my uncle would have been prosecuted possibly with a felony conviction for abetting my abortion. I was able to stand up against the protestors, but I could have very nearly died from the increased violence and bombings that have happened to abortion clinics and that I was from a very privileged place of being able to leave the state and obtaining abortion access at 20 years old, where a lot of people of color, people who are marginalized, do not have this access. And so now that I live in the extremely liberal Pacific Northwest where this is all protected, I constantly think about the people who are back in the south who don't have this access and how lucky I was that in 2004 I was able to access abortion, much more easily than people today in 2022.
Melanie: Hi, my name's Melanie. I live in Australia, and I thought it would be interesting to send in my abortion story to see how it might differ from some of the experiences of people in the US. I had a termination in June of this year. I found out I was pregnant when I was around four and a half weeks, and I had to wait until I was over six weeks to obtain an abortion. That's because they needed to confirm pregnancy before going through with the procedure. I didn't even see my usual doctor prior to having the termination. That's just not a requirement, at least in my state. I booked online for when I would be over six weeks pregnant, and when it would work out for me with my work schedule. I went to my local or my nearest capital city and I had a medical termination.
So a medical termination is when you take medication that stops the production of the hormone required to continue pregnancy, and then 36 hours later you have some other pills which start the contractions to stimulate the abortion, essentially. When I went to the clinic, I was really surprised at how warm everyone was and that I didn't need to justify any reason for why I was having the termination. At no point did anyone ask me about my reasons for not wanting a baby. The only thing they needed to confirm was that I was making this decision on my own and that I hadn't been coerced into choosing to have a termination. I was sent home with a lot of information around when to call if something was going wrong.
There was a 24 hour after care line that I could call, which I did need to call at one point because I continued to have pain after the expected time and I felt every step of the way, I could just call up this number and speak to a nurse if I needed some support, given that I'd never been through this before and I didn't know what to expect. The procedure cost, I think around $550 Australian, which I think is around $370 US. Now that I know what to expect, if I found myself in that position again, I probably would have another medical termination if that's what I needed to do. I did find, when I was at the clinic, they were concerned with what sort of birth control I would be choosing to have ongoing after the procedure. That was one thing they really wanted me to lock in, a choice as to what preventative measure would be used to avoid me needing a termination in the future. Yeah, that's my story and I hope it's interesting and useful.
Caller: My abortion story is fairly boring, but pretty typical for most people. I was 42 and I had three small children, and my family was complete. I became pregnant. I'm not sure if I wanted to keep the baby or not. I wasn't emotionally or mentally ready to have another person to care for. My husband was super supportive but left the choice up to me.
When I went to the doctors to confirm the pregnancy, my doctor was great, not judgmental at all. I was only four weeks along, and so I was able to take just the two pills. The pain was a little worse than a period, but not nearly as bad as or painful as a miscarriage that I had at 11 weeks. I had never regretted the abortion. It was absolutely the right thing to do at the time for me and my family. I learned later that most women who have abortions are already mothers themselves, so they're making the choice similar to mine.
The only part that was difficult was how to reconcile the sadness and identity I had as someone who had previously miscarried, then electing to not have a baby. A good therapist reminded me, one doesn't negate the other, and I could identify however I wanted to. I've become pretty vocal about my abortion, and I've had a few people on my conservative community reach out about questions they had about theirs. Thanks.
Dawn: Hi, this is Dawn calling from New Jersey. I was 34, newly married, and trying to get pregnant for the first time. It happened relatively quickly. I got pregnant and was over the moon with excitement. I'd wanted to be a mom for as long as I could remember. But early in the pregnancy I began bleeding a lot. I went to the doctor for blood work and had an ultrasound to see what was going on. After the ultrasound, I was brought into a room to wait for a doctor while I was anxiously waiting with my husband, hoping everything was okay.
Despite my instincts, one of the assistants brought in a small bottle and put it on the counter. It was labeled methotrexate, and that is how I found out that I had ectopic pregnancy. The doctor came in a few minutes later and I was injected with the drug to end the pregnancy, which was not viable. I was heartbroken. I wanted that pregnancy so badly, but I could have died if the ectopic had gone ignored, or if I hadn't had a symptom that something was wrong. Abortion is healthcare. Even when you want a pregnancy more than anything.
Caller: My abortion saved my future. I live the life that I do right now because I had an abortion at 20. Abortion is wonderful. Abortion is healthcare. Abortion is vital, and abortions have been happening throughout history and will continue to happen. Thank you.
Caller: This is my abortion story. I found out that I was pregnant by surprise and my boyfriend at the time, who's now my husband, and I decided to keep the pregnancy and we were very excited. All the scans in the first trimester, all the tests looked great and so we told everybody. We started painting the nursery. And then at week 18 and a half, my doctor saw that there was almost no amniotic fluid, and I went to a very quick appointment to see a maternal fetal medicine specialist. They determined that the baby's kidneys were taking up basically the entire chest cavity to the point where the lungs hadn't developed. The heart wasn't formed correctly, but the most serious complication was that the baby had had fluid in the skull, and it was creating so much pressure that the brain could never form. And so this child essentially had a beating heart and not much else. So we made the very difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy rather than carry it to term, knowing that this child wouldn't live very long at all outside the womb.
I went to the hospital and I just remember that morning trying to decide what to wear to the hospital thinking, “What do you wear to your own funeral?” It just seemed so pointless to even get dressed. I spent two days in the hospital trying to deliver and I wasn't able to. And so after that I went in for a dilation and evacuation surgically, and that was very sad, but I was so thankful to the surgical team because they were so kind. And more importantly, they were careful. They were qualified to perform the operation. It was safe, it was legal, and they preserved my ability to have the children that I do now.
I have three healthy children. And I credit that team with preserving that capability for me. I'm so grateful to them, and while I wish I could have known that baby, I'm so appreciative that I was able to get a procedure in time to preserve both my physical health, ensuring that I didn't have to carry a pregnancy where I may have rolled over in the night and actually crushed the baby to death because there was no amniotic fluid to cushion him. And also, of course, my mental health, not having to endure a pregnancy that I knew was going to end in death.
Caller: When I was 20 weeks and a few days pregnant, I had an abortion. I was an unmarried, child-free, 30 year old Asian mixed woman who was in the throes of an abusive relationship with a man who was a fighter. I say fighter, not in the metaphorical sense, but in the literal sense. He trained and competed in Brazilian Jiu jitsu and submission wrestling. I later learned that because of his training, every time he assaulted me was a felony. If he had been charged, that is. That part never happened.
Weeks before learning I was pregnant and after another long and terrifying night, I left him for the last time. When I realized I was pregnant, it was late. I had been emotionally checked out and disconnected from my body in order to survive the assaults, but that's also how I was able to miss my own body's changes. I knew I needed to act quickly. I was lucky to live in a college town where I had access to a medical provider in a state that did not have abortion restrictions yet. Because my pregnancy was more advanced, I needed to travel to a neighboring city.
During the days leading up to that first appointment, I thought deeply about my decision, and I cried. I had a profound love for my pregnancy, and I knew that in order for me to survive, to pick up the pieces of my life, I needed an abortion. I had the mental space to reflect on my decision only because I had the privilege of access to abortion care. Getting my abortion was more than an act of self-care, it was a matter of my own survival. It was also an act of love for the fetus I was carrying. I was able to make the two hour round trip to the clinic for the two-day procedure.
With the help of my sister, I had my abortion, and I was able to move forward in my life. Today I'm in a healthy relationship and I have two daughters. For some of us, abortion is literally a matter of our own life or death. Sometimes that dire situation presents itself in a hospital, but other times it's less dramatic and less obvious to others. I had my abortion because it was the best decision for me and because I had access- something many pregnant people have not and still don't have.
Caller: So my story starts with me being in an abusive relationship with my ex. I was 18 when I had my daughter with him, and he and I had met when I was 15. He was seven years older than me. If you do the math, you know, that's very not okay. But my daughter was maybe a little over a year old when I found out I was pregnant again and I was losing it. I didn't know how I could continue life while also being pregnant. It was much harder to care for my daughter. I was the main person caring for her at the time. I was still trying to go to college. I was slowly gaining the realization that this was not a good relationship, not one that I wanted to be in, and he was ecstatic. He shared it with his friends, his mother. And I just wanted to die. And I shared with a very few people, and fortunately one of the only good things my mother did was suggest an abortion and I went online.
I found a way to make an appointment with Planned Parenthood, and I told my ex, I woke him up and I didn't tell him it was an option. I told him it was happening, and I said, “Look, this is happening. I'm getting an abortion. I've made the appointment.” He tried to argue. “Oh, I told my friends, what do I tell them?” I'm like, I don't care. This is happening. You don't get a say.
My mother drove me there. And she picked me up after and I was so nervous. They took me back and they did an ultrasound. They did a vaginal ultrasound, which is invasive as it sounds. They asked me if I wanted to see, which was not okay. And they gave me valium and had me wait in this room. And because I was nervous, I started talking to the other women there. And one of the women had a bunch of other kids and she just couldn't handle another one, and her husband didn't know what she was doing. She didn't tell him. She just went to go do it. And another girl, she was in college and just wasn't ready for kids. I wasn't the only one there with kids trying to make sure that I was looking out for the one that I had.
So during the actual procedure itself was the worst pain that I have ever experienced. I remember the nurse saying to me, you're not allowed to scream. And afterwards I was just filled with joy and relieved. It is still the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life, and I never want to go to that particular location again. I would drive hours to find another location, but I would gladly get another abortion if it meant not having to carry a pregnancy to term, it's not something I can do, not something I will survive, and I am so grateful that I did that.
Caller: Okay, this is not your typical abortion story, so I don't know if it will even get told, but I've always felt like I needed to tell my story. So I feel like this is the right place to do it. So when I was 19 years old, my boyfriend broke up with me, and shortly after that I found out that I was pregnant. I contacted him and he basically told me that the only help that he would provide me would be the money to get an abortion. I was in college at the time. I didn't have a car. I didn't really have much of anything. So I met him in the parking lot of my college campus. He gave me the money.
I made an appointment with Planned Parenthood in the city. I had a friend drive me to the train station, and when I got to the train station, I ended up missing the train just because of money. I didn't have money. They weren't taking debit cards. The nearest ATM was a mile away and I missed a train. I called him panicking. He told me there was nothing that he could do. He had already given me the money and that was the end of his responsibility. I was too ashamed to even call my friend to come back and get me. I walked the several miles back to campus. I had some friends, but nobody that I felt close enough to talk to.
I was really raised in a Catholic family, and so I had never even had the talk with my mom, my parents, so I was just scared about what was happening to me. And so instead of doing something about it, I completely shut down and I hid it from everyone. I hid my entire pregnancy from the world. I spent nine months completely alone in my own little world, just hoping and wishing and praying that it would go away. I stared at a coat hanger one day. Wondering how you used that to make it go away, but not knowing I didn't want to risk it. I vividly remember going home for spring break that March and standing in my parent’s kitchen and staring at a kitchen knife, wondering how I could just make it all go away without making it look like it was purposeful. I did everything I could to hide the bump. I wore big shirts and sweatshirts.
It was summertime. By the time I got outta school, I was still pregnant. And I even sometimes put things around my belly to tighten it to make sure that it didn't look pregnant when I was in front of people. I literally didn't tell anyone until I actually had to give birth and I needed help getting to the hospital because again, I was in college, and I didn't have a way to get there. My parents didn't find out until I was in labor, and I had to call them because they told me that it would show up on their insurance.
Anyways, I was lucky enough to have a family that accepted it and was welcoming. I gave the baby up for adoption. That's a whole other story, but I would not wish what I went through on anyone. It was the most painful, lonely, agonizing time of my life. And I would not wish that on anyone ever. Abortion is not wrong. I wish I could have gotten one. I'm glad that the life that I brought into the world ended up working out in the end, but at the same time, the trauma that I went through is just not okay. It's not okay for anyone. And I can't imagine if I had been a child, I was technically an adult at that time, but if I had been a child. I don't know how I would've come back from that.
Caller: Hi. I wanted to tell, with her permission, my mom's abortion story. When I was in my late twenties, I became involved in pro-choice activism in my local city. And one of the first things that protesters love to yell at you when you're involved in pro-choice activism is, “What would your mother say if she knew you were out here?” And I genuinely didn't know the answer to that question. So on the way home from my very first day of volunteering, I called my mom. And I told her what I did that day, and I was prepared for a wide range of reactions. We never really talked about it, and I was raised really religious, so I wasn't sure what was going to happen when I told her.
What I got was my mom saying, “Did I ever tell you that I had an abortion?” And then proceeded to explain to me that when she was around 18 years old, she had a one-night stand and she became pregnant. And fortunately, abortion was legal at the time, and she was able to make the choice that she wanted to make for herself. And then she proceeded to go out into the world and go to college and become a nurse and have a really amazing career. A decade plus later, she got married to that same one-night stand, and they decided together to have a baby. And they had me because my mom was able to make the choice to do it at a time when she could support a child, when she had a partner who could help her raise the child, or had the support system that she needed to raise a child, because you don't always need a partner. I had a wonderful life. I am extremely lucky. The next time somebody asked me that, what would your mom say if she knew you were out here? I could tell them that my mom has never been prouder of me.
Caller: Hi Sarah. I'm 27 years old and I recently had my first abortion. I happen to work for an abortion fund and have been doing repro justice work in some capacity since before 2019. So yeah, irony aside, I do feel really lucky in a lot of ways that I work with and surround myself with people who know that abortion is healthcare, and who were willing to support me through any decision I made as it related to my pregnancy.
The moment I found out I was pregnant was also the moment I decided that I was going to terminate my pregnancy. That was never a question or a hard decision for me. I had access to all the research sources I needed to make an informed decision about my healthcare, like where the nearest abortion provider was located, different methods of abortion, what to expect and how to prepare. In the end, I opted to go the route of self-managed abortion with medication abortion pills. I had a provider mail the pills to me in my home and then I had my abortion and the comfort of my home in my bed. And with my dogs snuggled up next to me and my close friend bringing me treats and just assuring that I was comfortable and nourished throughout all of it.
I'm now a little over a week out since I had my abortion, and I've had more time to reflect about my experience and what I'm taking away from it. For example, I learned that I don't ever want to carry a pregnancy to full term. In the six short weeks that I was pregnant, I experienced just such intense morning sickness. There's no way that I could do that for several weeks. I have just a much deeper admiration and respect for people who choose to carry their pregnancies to a full term.
I'm also reflecting on how really lucky I am to have had access to all of the support and resources in my abortion experience, and also how sad it is that I feel lucky at all when this should just be the normal for everyone. Everybody deserves to have access to all the information, resources, and support that they want in making decisions about their healthcare. Abortion is healthcare, and abortion is a human right. Abortion is racial justice. It's economic justice. It's at the intersection of every movement towards liberation. My abortion was a gift. Anyway, thank you for listening. And just remember, everyone loves someone who had an abortion.
Sarah: Thank you so much for listening. That was our episode. Thank you again so much from the bottom of our hearts to everyone who sent in their story. We were inspired to do this episode because a couple of months ago we did one like this for our Patreon and Apple+ subscribers about a time that you, the listener, changed your mind. And the stories that we got were so beautiful and affecting and inspiring that we knew we needed to hear more from you. To me anyway, it was clear that we needed to hear from you about abortion.
We are going to have some links in our show notes about where to support abortion access, support abortion normalization, and also some resources for abortion access. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you in two weeks.